Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Interviews and lingo...

After our education meeting last Friday, we went to our agency's office and had our individual interviews. Before we split up, we had to complete this survey without looking at or talking to each other. Fun stuff.

Hampton did his interview first and it lasted about 45 minutes. Mine was about the same. I'm not going to give any details on these because they were very personal - but suffice it to say we think they went well. Our adoption case worker is wonderful and she makes me feel comfortable talking to her about anything.

After the interviews, we attempted to schedule our final home visit, which was difficult because Hampton had to check his schedule at work. We are tentatively on for this coming Thursday, December 13. So excited!! I cannot believe how quickly the process has gone at this point. The beginning was all slow and waiting and "when are we going to get to the next part." Now, it's here - we should have an approved home study before Christmas!

Another flashback picture:
A few years ago at the Biltmore in Asheville, NC.

I will conclude with some adoption lingo. There are certain phrases the adoption world chooses to use to appropriately and accurately express the process and the people involved. Here are some commonly used words and phrases and some appropriate alternatives:

Instead of "real or natural parent" . . . say "birthparent" or "biological mom or dad"

Instead of "real child" . . . say "birth child"

Instead of "put up or give up for adoption" . . . say "choosing adoption" or "making an adoption plan"

Instead of "keep the child" . . . say "parent the child"

Instead of "unwanted pregnancy" . . . say "unplanned, unintended, or untimely pregnancy"

Instead of "find real parents" . . .  say "search for birthparents"

Instead of "foreign adoption" . . . say "intercountry or international adoption"

Instead of "adoptee" . . .  say "someone who was adopted"

I'm sure there will be more as we go through the matching and placement process and as we talk with more adoptive families. I will say this: Don't be afraid to ask questions and talk to us about our adoption. WE ARE EXCITED. And we want to talk to you and share that excitement!


  1. I love that you guys are using Bethany! My parents struggled with infertility for 7 years before my mom got pregnant with me. Towards the end of that time, they started the process of adopting through Bethany. My mom still talks very highly of their agency. They made it to #1 and on the day they got that call (saying the next child would be matched with them), my mom's doctor called and told her she was pregnant. Bethany was so nice and "bumped them down" but kept them on the waiting list "just in case." Well, obviously, my mom had me and then, unfortunately, my dad turned down Bethany a few months after that because he said he would be biased. I am glad my dad was honest because that is not a good environment for an adopted child. However, I still have days where I wish I had a brother or sister. All that to say, I LOVE adoption and am not sure if we will ever do it ourselves or just support our friends who are doing it, but if we ever do, I will definitely seek out Bethany. Good luck, be patient, and know that I will be praying for you guys!!!

    1. Thanks Stephanie, for your support and your story and your prayers! Obviously, we feel called to adopt and have for some time, even before we lost the girls. If you're even kind of considering it, I recommend reading "Adopted for Life" by Russell Moore. It really expresses what adoption truly is.

      BTW, I'm glad we can stay updated on each other's lives, even if it's only electronically. :)



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